The Lost Art of Respect, Damn I’m being honest, A Synchroblog attempt.

Posted by Jen on Jan 31, 2013 in Uncategorized |

Respect gives a positive feeling of esteem or deference for a person or other entity(such as a nation or a religion), and also specific actions and conduct representative of that esteem. (Wikipedia def).

Conduct representative of that esteem.  Hmmm. So making judgement, perhaps?  Specifically, the judgement of others and of your own self.  Let’s start with the first- judging others.  Have you ever been in line at the grocery store only to catch a glimpse of the toddler in the aisle next to you screaming, “I want this mommyyyyy.”  The flustered mother then gives the aforementioned child the prize.  You immediately and without reservations think, “Weak.”

About 2 years, and 4 months ago, me and my large belly and even more sizeable notions of parenthood would absolutely have fallen into the trap.  What did I know about discipline, wild toddler emotions, exhaustion?  Absolutely nada.  I was so naive and in love with the ideal situation.  I would sing to my child, decorate her nursery and dream of how lovely life would be. Falling down the slippery slope…not dreaming, but idealizing.  The greatest thing happened when my world got rocked by a 30 hour labor, pre-pregnancy jeans that didn’t fit for weeks, a 10 mile run 6 weeks after giving birth that hurt more than my first hundred miler, and boobs that inflated and deflated like Lance Armstrong’s ego.  Then, I got it.  I fully respected and appreciated the life of a parent.  All eye rolls came to a halt.   At least eye rolls of others.  Then, my judgement took a personal direction.  I began to doubt myself.

The internal judgement has always been somewhat of a personal trait.  The A-type kid in school, never knowing thy own limits, a people pleaser at the expense of myself.  Then, came the bout of “you are not good enough.”  Where did all my self respect go?   I watched other mothers around me stay at home, make homemade Halloween costumes and attend school fundraisers.  I participated in all of those things with my child, but was no stranger to buying tinkerbell wings at Target or having Eva make cupcakes that came out of a box.  I had guilt for working, for running and again for running.  My extended family judged me for trying to run, be a wife, mother and professional.  They would tell me to give it up. My husband did not.  He supported me, and Eva loved me despite the gluten free boxed treats and actually our little, crazy adventurous life was working pretty well.  So why the guilt?  Because our life does not reflect most.  We don’t fit into a box that comes with a pretty little label.  I recognized that would be the case from early on. But it still bothered me.  I found myself making justifications. Why? Who cares?  Then one day, just this year actually, I had the revelation.  Your child doesn’t need the perfect parent.  Just a parent that is good enough.

My Christmas gift from my colleagues... Believe woman!!

Eva is loved, supported and is flourishing.  She’s knows what GU chompies are, and has mud filled shoes from our hikes and adventures and aid station based time-outs, but that is what will make her independent and unique.  So wait, I’m not a bad parent after all?  I guess I can say, no.  I am working on letting my idealist ways go by the way side and chilling out.  This is a daily battle for me.  But I am getting there.  To learn to tune out your own negative thoughts and the judgement of others is so freeing.

What about the runner in me?  Why I have doubted her for so long?  In the same vein as a parent with self doubt, comes the self doubt as a runner.  I have taken my time as an ultrarunner.  I ran for 5-6 years with absolutely no agenda, no schedule, sometimes no training and just had fun bathing myself in a supportive, lively community.  Ultimately, in ultrarunning, the lack of judgement and feeling of respect is what drew me in right from the go. So what happened?   FEAR.  I realized there was more in me than I had ever given myself credit for.  I was scared.  I didn’t think I belonged in the front of the race- I doubted me and I let it put me where I thought I should be.  I respected other runners but didn’t respect myself.  I also didn’t respect that I deserved to do well.  PRESSURE.  I let the pressure of needing to prove something,mostly to myself, ruin more than one race.  Its a huge transition to go from casual runner to competitive runner.  It took time and I respect that process.  I’ve also said that in prior posts, I must stay flexible with my expectations.  As one continuum of a linked existence, I must realize many nights are sleepless, training can come and go, and the A type girl in me must let go.  OVER IT.  Now, that little devil sitting on my left shoulder gets flipped the bird quite often.  I tell it to shut the hell up and let the flow of the day, of my legs, of my breath take over.  You can do well, but only if you allow yourself to.  You can quite literally derail all of your training if you don’t believe in yourself and respect your ability.  I am my own worse critic.  Always have been, always will be.  But becoming a mom, has allowed me to step back and learn that you only need to be good enough. And to laugh at what life throws at me.  And that deserves some respect.

There are some other amazing blogs to go check out:

Liza Howard

Jimmy Dean Freeman

Olga King

Katie Desplinter

Nathan Coury

 

 

1 Comment

Olga King
Jan 31, 2013 at 2:11 pm

Most love to “Your child doesn’t need the perfect parent. Just a parent that is good enough.” So true. Heck, being perfect in general is not needed, just good enough for you – and those that love you!


 

Reply

 

Copyright © 2015 A Girl’s Guide to Trail Running.

  • erotic dream hentia videos
  • real home video ffm
  • cam in drunk girls pussy
  • black l sex
  • old guys fuck young sluts
  • Girls striping to naked
  • hd pussy xxx free
  • troubled teen summer boot camp girl
  • wife sucking little dicks
  • Indian college girls nude photos
  • wife anal sex bound
  • blonde teen shits on girls face
  • free video thumbs college girls
  • sex machine makes blonde cum
  • whore wife black cock
  • virgin pussy cum
  • old lady anal sex
  • picture of girls wrestling in mud
  • forced wife to fuck
  • free pics of jenny hills boobs
  • jack black in foo fighters video
  • the black six movie
  • ata girl movie
  • free new sex reality movie galleries
  • young bays who love anal sex
  • a cup boobs pics
  • free girls flashing movies
  • petite pre candid nude
  • mom mature teach young
  • youngest anima free
  • junk girls
  • mature threesomes galleries
  • free husband watching wife video
  • just my size womens petite jeans
  • beautiful black girl homemade sex tape
  • teen lesbian strap on gang orgasm
  • india swinger girl nude picture
  • free bizarre hardcore adult sex images
  • Free teen movies videos
  • black couple fucks white girl
  • tight pussy video movie
  • amateur milfs free photos free galleries
  • xxx erony sex
  • anal wife dirty talk
  • gladiator sex movie
  • nice ass pics gallery
  • big fat pussy
  • german girl video
  • hispanic teen gallerys
  • Nude pictures of raven symone
  • ethnic and religious rights for teenagers
  • eating pussy sex video
  • mature and video and free
  • anal sex guid
  • they made me suck their dicks
  • teen bikini video girlfriend
  • hot pussy list
  • Squirting pussy movies
  • pictures of girl on girl
  • brigham young university gallery
  • want to fuck asian girls
  • retro big tits lesbians
  • Nude model
  • better sex oral
  • free nude mature latina video
  • pictures pf naked men
  • Home made teen tampon movies
  • titty sex pics
  • jailbait young girls
  • ivy black oil video
  • sexy babes on fire
  • hot girl self nude pics xxx
  • girl sucking line of guys dicks
  • better sex video torrent
  • hamsters mature video
  • sex vids wife
  • arizona bi black couples
  • young girls geting boned
  • my wife loves black men
  • brutal lesbian gang bang
  • ameture teen video
  • sex toys video reviews
  • schoolgirl belle bond hardcore
  • black teen tiny pussy
  • uk amateur teen couples
  • amateur arcive
  • ebony sex thumbnails
  • large hermaphrodite anal pics
  • asian schoolgirl loves cock
  • big tit hairy pussy
  • watch girls pussy piercing
  • free russian mature videos
  • milf couples housewife
  • average amount couples have sex
  • chanel video hardcore
  • petite asian woman nude
  • free barely legal pussy pics
  • two sister movie
  • los bikini mas sex
  • Classy nude ladies
  • blonde girl sex role play videos
  • shemale takes own dick
  • interracial married couples amateur
  • young nude girls haveing rough sex
  • hapy naked girl
  • megan reece pussy
  • thelma japan pics
  • pics of carla naked
  • amature girl anal
  • Asia lesbian sex
  • anal movie post
  • true wife cheating pictures
  • wife stockings xxx
  • Nude naked indian
  • ebony lesbian strapon video
  • amateur mom sucks blacks
  • sweet party chicks
  • amateur party video
  • free nude young girl pics
  • young skinny naked punk girls
  • lesbian babes threesome
  • dick suck young gil
  • heart shaved shaped pussy billie
  • black women hairry pussy free
  • largest pussy in
  • sexy ebony alone
  • teaches how to give oral sex
  • lyla dee topless video
  • pictures of naked vin diesel
  • anal sex advice bottom
  • Sex thailand video
  • Videos de anal
  • girlfriend blowjob in shower
  • dirty mature caught fucking young guys
  • girls teen bedroom ideas
  • erotic spanking anal stories
  • black girl cums with dildo
  • does anal sex increase buock size
  • really young sexy teen videos
  • free sex teens pics
  • teen girls forums mpegs
  • strange objects in a pussy
  • Fingering the vagina correctly
  • teen anal dildo movie
  • young jamacain girls
  • Adult indian sex videos
  • shaved cocks pics
  • wife likes black cock free vids
  • hardcore mum and daughter anal sex
  • video of girl on toilet
  • womens petite clothing stores
  • young asian girls groped
  • Fucking huge boobs
  • russian couple sex beautiful girl
  • free petite babes on huge dicks
  • free asian tranny pics
  • black shaved pink pussy pics
  • sexy sports naked
  • free amateur housewives videos
  • vintage anal pon movies
  • celebrity hardcore sex
  • erotic hanging video
  • cumshot babes pics
  • Big boob tits
  • lesbian stories bikini swimming pool
  • tube thick blonde
  • petite girls and under
  • indian girl big black cock
  • foreplay and orgasm video
  • young vietnamese anal
  • erotic movie parody
  • Wife sex xxx
  • dickies black label tall
  • young star tryouts
  • twin teen blowjob
  • forbbiden young girls pictures
  • lesbian wife swap pepper judy
  • teen girl giving blowjob
  • asian teen gets cock
  • fuck abuse videos
  • Streaming teen movies
  • amatuer pussy action
  • sex girl beautiful
  • couples sex clubs houston texas
  • filipina girls
  • free online anal tv videos
  • Big ass and dicks
  • nudist beach sex gang bang
  • private collection xxx
  • Huge beach tits
  • pictures of young king arthur
  • retro pantyhose pussy
  • older women younger girl
  • nasty asian girl
  • little girls bikini swimsuit
  • shy love hardcore videos
  • free pictures black braid styles
  • Pictures of naked teens
  • boobs party blowjob
  • big titted black girl
  • ebony femdom black
  • hardcore indian movie
  • teen interracial redhead
  • Tall girl sex
  • Hard pussy licking
  • teen boy hair syle pictures
  • pantyhose ripping licking pussy
  • hot naked girls gone wild
  • sexy military women with big tits
  • naked hot videos
  • free r video
  • streaming maid videos
  • video cams sex caught
  • young teen caught wearing thong
  • lesbian erotic breast feeding
  • Nadia hilton interracial
  • squirting pussy uncencered
  • ass oil pussy
  • dl nude sex music video auditions
  • natural black pearl pics
  • Porn sex video online
  • orgasm girl newgrounds
  • long hair sex videos
  • hardcore free fucking movies
  • tight teen pussy galleries
  • sexy ass she he
  • girl licking girl video
  • jaime pressly nude sex scene videos
  • blonde vs black
  • pamela anderson fingering her wet pussy
  • naked girls professional photos
  • black and asian anal creampie
  • cum swallow blowjob lesbians
  • tube sex video sites