The Lost Art of Respect, Damn I’m being honest, A Synchroblog attempt.

Posted by Jen on Jan 31, 2013 in Uncategorized |

Respect gives a positive feeling of esteem or deference for a person or other entity(such as a nation or a religion), and also specific actions and conduct representative of that esteem. (Wikipedia def).

Conduct representative of that esteem.  Hmmm. So making judgement, perhaps?  Specifically, the judgement of others and of your own self.  Let’s start with the first- judging others.  Have you ever been in line at the grocery store only to catch a glimpse of the toddler in the aisle next to you screaming, “I want this mommyyyyy.”  The flustered mother then gives the aforementioned child the prize.  You immediately and without reservations think, “Weak.”

About 2 years, and 4 months ago, me and my large belly and even more sizeable notions of parenthood would absolutely have fallen into the trap.  What did I know about discipline, wild toddler emotions, exhaustion?  Absolutely nada.  I was so naive and in love with the ideal situation.  I would sing to my child, decorate her nursery and dream of how lovely life would be. Falling down the slippery slope…not dreaming, but idealizing.  The greatest thing happened when my world got rocked by a 30 hour labor, pre-pregnancy jeans that didn’t fit for weeks, a 10 mile run 6 weeks after giving birth that hurt more than my first hundred miler, and boobs that inflated and deflated like Lance Armstrong’s ego.  Then, I got it.  I fully respected and appreciated the life of a parent.  All eye rolls came to a halt.   At least eye rolls of others.  Then, my judgement took a personal direction.  I began to doubt myself.

The internal judgement has always been somewhat of a personal trait.  The A-type kid in school, never knowing thy own limits, a people pleaser at the expense of myself.  Then, came the bout of “you are not good enough.”  Where did all my self respect go?   I watched other mothers around me stay at home, make homemade Halloween costumes and attend school fundraisers.  I participated in all of those things with my child, but was no stranger to buying tinkerbell wings at Target or having Eva make cupcakes that came out of a box.  I had guilt for working, for running and again for running.  My extended family judged me for trying to run, be a wife, mother and professional.  They would tell me to give it up. My husband did not.  He supported me, and Eva loved me despite the gluten free boxed treats and actually our little, crazy adventurous life was working pretty well.  So why the guilt?  Because our life does not reflect most.  We don’t fit into a box that comes with a pretty little label.  I recognized that would be the case from early on. But it still bothered me.  I found myself making justifications. Why? Who cares?  Then one day, just this year actually, I had the revelation.  Your child doesn’t need the perfect parent.  Just a parent that is good enough.

My Christmas gift from my colleagues... Believe woman!!

Eva is loved, supported and is flourishing.  She’s knows what GU chompies are, and has mud filled shoes from our hikes and adventures and aid station based time-outs, but that is what will make her independent and unique.  So wait, I’m not a bad parent after all?  I guess I can say, no.  I am working on letting my idealist ways go by the way side and chilling out.  This is a daily battle for me.  But I am getting there.  To learn to tune out your own negative thoughts and the judgement of others is so freeing.

What about the runner in me?  Why I have doubted her for so long?  In the same vein as a parent with self doubt, comes the self doubt as a runner.  I have taken my time as an ultrarunner.  I ran for 5-6 years with absolutely no agenda, no schedule, sometimes no training and just had fun bathing myself in a supportive, lively community.  Ultimately, in ultrarunning, the lack of judgement and feeling of respect is what drew me in right from the go. So what happened?   FEAR.  I realized there was more in me than I had ever given myself credit for.  I was scared.  I didn’t think I belonged in the front of the race- I doubted me and I let it put me where I thought I should be.  I respected other runners but didn’t respect myself.  I also didn’t respect that I deserved to do well.  PRESSURE.  I let the pressure of needing to prove something,mostly to myself, ruin more than one race.  Its a huge transition to go from casual runner to competitive runner.  It took time and I respect that process.  I’ve also said that in prior posts, I must stay flexible with my expectations.  As one continuum of a linked existence, I must realize many nights are sleepless, training can come and go, and the A type girl in me must let go.  OVER IT.  Now, that little devil sitting on my left shoulder gets flipped the bird quite often.  I tell it to shut the hell up and let the flow of the day, of my legs, of my breath take over.  You can do well, but only if you allow yourself to.  You can quite literally derail all of your training if you don’t believe in yourself and respect your ability.  I am my own worse critic.  Always have been, always will be.  But becoming a mom, has allowed me to step back and learn that you only need to be good enough. And to laugh at what life throws at me.  And that deserves some respect.

There are some other amazing blogs to go check out:

Liza Howard

Jimmy Dean Freeman

Olga King

Katie Desplinter

Nathan Coury

 

 

1 Comment

Olga King
Jan 31, 2013 at 2:11 pm

Most love to “Your child doesn’t need the perfect parent. Just a parent that is good enough.” So true. Heck, being perfect in general is not needed, just good enough for you – and those that love you!


 

Reply

 

Copyright © 2015 A Girl’s Guide to Trail Running.

  • naked girls with pretty pussies
  • dutch teen fuck
  • confucian analects husband and wife
  • black jugs in sex
  • mommy shows me her pussy
  • blond first anal sex
  • free screaming rough anal sex
  • black videos file sharing
  • Nice black tit
  • angie ang pussy
  • Hot sex gallary
  • philippines video badjojo
  • asian wife with cucumber
  • fuck pre xxx adults
  • little girlies naked
  • coors light party girls
  • hardcore xxx creampie cleanup
  • girls fuck party drunk
  • ugly girl sex videos
  • teen latin pics
  • bible class topics for teens
  • boob to pussy
  • lesbian black girls
  • free videos of pussy streaming
  • squiring pussy pix
  • big tits hairy pussy outdoors
  • teen dick growth spurt
  • teen girl fingering herself
  • teen girls boys blow group sex
  • girl sex casting
  • Young naked girl pictures
  • sfw diesel xxx commercial
  • double fuck pussy
  • beautiful black virgin pussy
  • biker girls kissing pics
  • teen guys wear speedo suit pics
  • girl ass lickers
  • girl screams anal
  • wife dirty pictures
  • girls fuck by doll
  • hot girls and sex and college
  • tube sex pics
  • free black fisting videos
  • Naked girl from india
  • xxx kamasutra sex positions
  • wife sex neighbor
  • amateur anal cry
  • mr big dicks hot chicks bree
  • Hot mothers having sex
  • dy fuck son movies
  • male nipples and sex
  • bikini open video
  • Sex pics images
  • hygiene oral sex
  • jessie the cowgirl blowjob
  • massage video of nude sex
  • up of pussy
  • video grosse salope mature
  • black girls pusyy
  • young teens butt naked sex tapes
  • Watch the best sex scenes
  • black doing white moms pics
  • girl gives kidney though pussy
  • lesbian screaming fuck
  • Bravo photos teens gratis
  • free titwank sex videos
  • girl scout galleries
  • japanise cartoon sex
  • petite blouse patterns
  • topless pics of kareena kapoor
  • girls dressed like s xxx
  • nude pics of hot chicks
  • hottest videos tube
  • anime sex movies for free
  • virgins sucking dick
  • pictures of tea leoni naked
  • blacks on blonde brides
  • tiny anal pics
  • sexy nouty girls
  • 7044027330
  • hardcore bachlorette party
  • pic of tight young pussy
  • soft amateur
  • nude car flashing pictures
  • blondes first lesbian anal
  • brea bennett her first lesbian sex
  • fun crafts for teenage girls
  • anal sex thought she liked it
  • Naked teen pussy pics
  • atk young girls
  • make him eat your pussy
  • meg white video
  • Vintage ebony pussy
  • hot guys free sex video
  • 1727046932
  • New rihanna nude photos
  • free fulllength asian
  • mature wife bareback pics
  • motorcycle rally oral sex photos
  • black eyed peas sexy
  • black hip hop model video
  • best amateur tube site
  • average girls nude pics
  • amateur hard videos
  • 9394232994
  • free wife swap sex stories
  • wanking wife videos
  • babes sex movies
  • pictures suck own dick
  • lick pussy close up
  • video teens
  • thia girls
  • older amateur movie
  • teenie teen sex
  • 9526403354
  • sexy bbw babes
  • rabbit orgasm video
  • flashing girl in silver
  • xxx micro bikini
  • exploited black teen krystal tube
  • best classic movies
  • 7218571129
  • nipples free movies
  • amy tans a young girls wish
  • young lesbian pussy licking tube
  • lick her shoe video
  • womens comments regarding receiving oral sex
  • nuyde female bodybuilder sex videos
  • teen cumshot amateur
  • shemale sex stories
  • mature asian dvds
  • black art galleries new york
  • japanese girls fighting
  • hot teen girls have sex
  • birthday video friend sex
  • suck dick black bitch ebony teen
  • dick n big ass tits
  • sex videos cc
  • Gossip girl chuck and blair kiss
  • Vaginas de mujeres
  • old man fucks young wife doujin
  • world closeup pussy
  • israeli girls naked
  • kisslo young girls
  • free dial up teen picture
  • big butt shemale pics
  • 4681276014
  • lil teens gettin it hardcore
  • forced teen sex
  • Sex movies mother and son
  • 4387382549
  • celebrity pussy licking
  • fuck my girlfriend
  • watch free online japanese cartoon
  • hub girl playing with penis
  • cute shemale lesbian
  • hot chicks fantasy sex video
  • free ebony no viruses
  • too young yube
  • woman anal warts industry
  • stretched hanging breasts nipple galleries
  • alan tits girl
  • girl strip naked teen cyber slave
  • australian hardcore stars
  • busty young girl tube
  • black shemale huge
  • young girl sex voyeur
  • tiny hairless pussy girls
  • hot blowjob videos
  • old babes sexy
  • erotic sex rpgs
  • latina teen bikini girlfriend
  • sex stories husband wife threesome teenager
  • flexible ebony thumbnail gallery
  • romanian girl sex
  • ebony star butter
  • homemade mature wanks young
  • sexy shaved snatch
  • band girls
  • pictures of girls on the hills
  • big dick tube
  • female masterbation galleries
  • thia sexy girls
  • tiniest girls tiny tits
  • free tiah girl sex vids
  • full lenth vids for free
  • lesbian teen family
  • Give great oral sex
  • rate my amateur pics
  • free vids amateur sex
  • topless lesbian singer
  • petite asian brittney escort
  • odonohue sisters bikini gallery
  • Aishwarya naked pic
  • horney moms who fuck sons videos
  • free blowjob videos s
  • ebony bi
  • in car video
  • sexy blonde ringin cock
  • free ebony milf movies
  • hot mom seducing young inocent girl
  • black girls pussy squirting
  • cock suck pictures
  • ugly naked women pictures
  • pussy with big holes
  • free nudism gallerys
  • wife sucks husbands dick outdoors
  • india nude woman girl photos pictures
  • buy japan sex toys online
  • naked girls dick
  • hot young girl gets accidental creampie
  • xxx prom gang bang
  • teen pink videos sonia
  • extreme cock in pussy
  • eat pussy join
  • xxxteen girl anime
  • 9800172005
  • blonde whores getting fucked free video
  • naked movies videos
  • sexy girls vidieos free
  • teenage girls skirt
  • young prematuer pussy
  • oral transmission of stds and nonsexual
  • way to young to fuck
  • sexy teen skirts
  • picture of young cockerel
  • kate hudson pussy
  • kids dick and pussy
  • jamie chung bikini pics
  • slim nude shaved pussy videos
  • mature nudists videos
  • petite skinny teens naked
  • free blonde pics free
  • free teen dildo videos
  • sex robot and japan
  • sleeping video teen spycam hien cam
  • amateur free pic
  • 7144651581
  • young skinny teen movie
  • micheal jackson and pussy dolls
  • Spanking hot girl
  • animation sex slave video
  • young teen small breast photos
  • 644446546
  • dy fuck my sex hole stories
  • busty lesbian couples
  • naked girls mountain hiking
  • anal sweet teens
  • Sex video star
  • free teen school sex movie
  • erotic science fiction movies
  • free shemale movie previes
  • young nude teen sex video
  • whore fingering and fucking videos free
  • girl on replay song video
  • amatuer anal movies
  • olympic volleyball babes sexy thong
  • the hottest galleries
  • pussy fuck tube
  • girl bikini sexy
  • pictures of naked mile aged women
  • shemale anal sex man
  • pictures of black women skinny dipping
  • sarah mcelligott pussy
  • lesbian facial feast
  • interracial at drive ins